I Am Inpatient, Hear Me Roar

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
-- Helen Reddy

I am fairly certain that most of my blog posts will be shorter as I am inpatient for a while. A long while. I will not have as easy access to song lyrics so the format of most posts will necessarily change.

If you are not familiar with someone with long term or acute mental health issues, you may not know that there are different sorts of inpatient facilities. One distinction is some handle patients on a voluntary basis, some on an involuntary basis, and some can handle both. Another distinction is whether it is a locked-door facility or an unlocked-door facility or a mix. As I continue to blog it may become more clear what type I am in but for right now it is not something I am going to share which may make little sense to some readers since I write this using a pseudonym but that is my decision for now.

Other than being imminently dangerous to oneself or others, reasons to go inpatient include wanting intensive therapy, wanting multiple types of therapies that medical insurance would cover (pay for) differently than if a patient tried to get reimbursed for them from multiple mental health providers, wanting to be in a more validating environment than is available in the "real world", wanting to get out of a less validating or invalidating environment, wanting to get out of a harmful environment (commonly related to substance abuse), and wanting structure provided by experts when parts of one's life are falling by the wayside (personal hygiene, family obligations, work obligations, diet, exercise) so that a patient's priorities more closely align with a life they want in society. Probably bits of all of those apply other than me being harmful to others and substance abuse.

I could list dozens of parts of my routine that I consider very important and that I will miss every day. This saddens me deeply so I do my best not to dwell on it. Sacrifice of creature comforts does not come easy for me -- I want it all and I want it now. I try to focus on the good of being inpatient but focusing on the good is not my strong suit. Must remember: Don't Panic.